A Prince for a Princess

Warning: This post may sound sappy.

Over a year ago, I met a guy named Marcus. As I soon as I saw him, I was hooked. I prayed and prayed about it, but the way the situation laid out we could not be together. For 8 months, he became my best friend. Eventually, I talked to him about most everything, and he sought my advice about many topics. There came a point, after a lot of prayer, where I had to tell him how I felt. As it turned out, he felt the same way about me. We prayed together and haven’t turned back since. This past weekend, Marcus asked me to marry him. My answer, obviously, was yes.

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Marcus proposed to me at his aunt’s wedding, so the wedding photographers captured the moment for us.

There are so many things that I love about him (his love for the Lord, his passion for learning, his dimples), but I will say that one of the biggest things I love about him is how he takes care of me. As anyone with POTS (or any chronic medical condition) knows, people freak out when you have medical issues.

While we were still just friends, he saw me pass out. Passing out is scary for many reasons, but when it happens in a big group one of the biggest reasons for me is the vulnerability. I can’t put on a strong façade when I am lying unconscious on the floor. However, Marcus did not run. He did freak out, but out of concern for me, not because he felt uncomfortable. He offered to carry me back to my dorm, but some girls helped me walk back. The next day he checked on me, clearly still worried about how I was doing. But once I said I was fine, he did not keep treating me like I was broken.

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Since being together, he has continued to take care of me. Just weeks into being in a relationship, he sat at my bedside for a couple of days after I had my gallbladder out, just holding my hand and getting me whatever I needed.

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This was after my gallbladder surgery

I would like to say that I never have POTS spells anymore, but that would be a lie. As I type this, I should be in class but could not make it because of my weak body. Anytime I have spells, though, he is at my side taking care of me, even to the point of doing my grocery shopping for me and carrying me to a more comfortable place if I pass out on the floor.

Then, once I am better, he treats me normally (besides making sure I have enough water at all times).

I thank God every day for giving this POTS Princess her Prince Charming.

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I love this one because you can see how purely happy we are. I am so proud to call the man of my dreams my fiancé.
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Roomie Appreciation

Having a good roommate is always an important factor to college life, but especially in the life of someone with POTS. When my POTS is acting up, I can hide out in my room from the rest of the world, but my roommate is still there. She has to be able to deal with my POTS too, and help me if I need it. God has blessed me immensely with my roommate.

My current roommate was not my first roommate, but we did meet move-in day last semester. After both of our first rooming situations were not working out as well as we would have liked, we decided to room together. That was one of the best decisions I have made in college thus far. The first time I had a bad spell in front of her was a few weeks ago. Thankfully I was able to make it to my bed before the shaking got too intense and I passed out. She was sitting on her bed. I could tell she was totally freaked out, but she acted so calm. She asked me if I needed anything and just stayed there in the room with me until she had to go to class. Later we were talking and she said I really scared her. But things went back to normal after that. When she looks at me she doesn’t just she me being sick.

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Roomie and me at Qdoba before Christmas Break

 

As many of you probably know, college can be a very stressful time. There are so many things happening and so much you have to do. It can be very overwhelming, especially for the perfectionist planner that I have a tendency to be. Last weekend roomie and I spent the whole weekend taking a “mental health break”by crafting with paint and canvases. We watched old musicals and Disney movies and just relaxed and had fun together. Then last night I was on the verge of a mental break down, half laughing and half crying while sitting on the floor in front of our door. Instead of telling me to get up or saying I was weird, she just sat down on the floor and hugged me until I was ready to get up.

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Canvases roomie and I made for the room- she made the peach one and I made the navy one.

 

 

I am so thankful to be able to room with someone who can handle me, not just my POTS, but all of my quirks. But more than that I am so thankful to have a best friend like my roomie! Academics are definitely important in college, but friendships and times spent laughing and dancing to High School Musical movies while covered in paint and glitter are what you remember, and what help get you through the intensity of collegiate academics.

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Roomie and me all dressed up 🙂

Avoidance

I have not posted on the blog in a long time. It is not because of a lack of words to say, but the issue of not wanting to accept the words I have to say. When I last posted, I genuinely believed my POTS wasn’t going to be a big problem anymore. I thought that I wouldn’t have to tell people, that I would be able to just be “normal.” That is, until I passed out in front of a lot of people before I was going to assist in leading music for a student-led ministry. It smacked me in the face about the time that the floor did that I couldn’t escape POTS. Instead of accepting that and dealing with it, though, I reverted to the old potsie stand by–avoidance. That mentality of “maybe if I don’t acknowledge it, it will go away.” Anyone that has tried that before knows you can’t keep it up for long, at least without consequences. I started hiding in my room more and being overly paranoid– if I even felt a little off I wouldn’t go do things I wanted to because I was so afraid of passing out in front of people again.

Thankfully I found a group of wonderful girls that encouraged me to be social and get out of my comfort zone. They invested in me-they cared. Some of them knew about my POTS and some did not. Even those that knew, though, didn’t know the full extent. But they saw me for me and help me rediscover the version of myself the POTS paranoia was drowning. This semester I was blessed to officially join their sisterhood- I found where I belong. With their help, and of course a lot of prayer, I have been able to face this semester head on. I am balancing a social life, school work, and  job, but I’m not afraid of it anymore. Spells still happen, that’s something I need to expect could quite possibly last the rest of my life, but I don’t hide from it anymore.

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It is so easy when you have a chronic illness to try to ignore the problem and avoid dealing with it. However, while you’re sickness is a legitimate part of you, there is so much more to you than just your sickness. Don’t do what I did and let it control your whole life- even more than it tries to demand.

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